Damned If We Do, Damned If We Don't: Exploring Society's Judgment Against Women Who Undergo Cosmetic Surgery

If you’ve ever picked up a tabloid or tuned in to a gossip channel on YouTube or cable TV, you’ve probably been accosted by alleged “before & after” images of female celebrities who either have or might have gotten plastic surgery.

The terms we use to discuss these what-ifs vary. She may have “gotten work done” or “bought implants.” The tone used by hosts and tabloid writers is often sly, as if cosmetic surgery is some kind of dirty little secret only expert eyes can catch on to.

Alternatively, these naysayers might blast famous women for “botched” procedures or too-obvious changes to their face and figure. The message these sources send is clear: plastic surgery is something shallow and amusing at best, and at worst it’s something to be embarrassed about. Even after major shifts in the way we talk about and view women, these judgments remain.

The question is, why? What makes cosmetic surgery so easy to judge––especially when a woman is the one who underwent the procedure?

This article aims to answer these questions and explore society’s persistent hung-up, tucked-in, and implanted attitude toward plastic surgery. As it turns out, the significance of this collective bad habit is more than skin-deep.

When Men Do It, It’s Grooming––When Women Do It, It’s Lying

Women have endured a dizzying array of double standards over the millennia, and none are so prevalent as those that relate to our physical appearance.

At times we’ve been expected to simultaneously appear covered up and bare-faced, or to display a perfect brand of “natural beauty” without altering the less-than-perfect features nature herself has graced us with. 

“Take her swimming on the first date,” popular memes say, seemingly phobic about the idea of a woman who wears concealer and a foundation to match. “Get you a girl who can do both,” others say, displaying side-by-side photos of an allegedly bare-skinned girl-next-door and a scarlet-lipped, sharply-contoured vixen––as if the two identities ought to be perfectly performed by the same women.

History has always shoved women firmly into the realm of impossible beauty standards, all while simultaneously blasting those attempting to fit into these categories via makeup, cosmetic procedures, or any other form of so-called “dishonesty” relating to our looks.

Men’s attempts to look better, younger, or just plain better via the same or similar means has been viewed in a variety of ways as well––but for most of history, there hasn’t been nearly as much vitriol leveled against them. 

For example, wearing high heels to appear taller was considered manly and fashionable in King Louis’ court, and codpieces were proudly worn by those in King Henry’s era. Women of the same eras were generally labeled vain or sexually immoral if they sought to improve their looks in similar ways, be it through rouged cheeks or lower-cut dresses. 

Good, faithful women––women who embodied “pure” feminine values––didn’t do such things. Vanity in the west and near-east was a sin, and it was the kind of trickery reserved for brothels in much of the east.

Further examples abound, whether it’s in Hollywood, where male propensities for getting work done go mostly overlooked but women’s procedures are dissected in the media, or in our own social circles.

At the center of this is a specific, deeply patriarchal fear. Feminine dishonesty

Throughout our collective history, the worst thing about women, in the eyes of the patriarchy, has been our alleged tendency to deceive. This is why women are often negatively described as “cunning,” “false,” or “disloyal.” Many texts and oral histories describe deceptive qualities as innate to women as a gender––as a species, really, and one that’s separate from men.

Google “women are liars,” and take a moment to consider the results. The stereotype is alive and thriving, to the point that it’s difficult to find sources refuting this assumption

By modifying our looks, we females merely prove the poor opinion many societies have held about us all along. We are trying to trick and manipulate by being…pretty. Others’ version of pretty.

Yep. It sounds pretty ridiculous, right? But this attitude is at the crux of our persistent judgment of women who undergo cosmetic surgery––and until we understand just how foolish that attitude is, it will persist.

God’s Plan––Why Cosmetic Procedures Are Viewed As A Deception of Biblical Proportions

If mere makeup has frequently been judged as a calculated deception, how much worse is plastic surgery in the eyes of a patriarchal society? Anytime a woman seeks to alter her appeal via clothes, cosmetics, photo filters, or any other “unnatural” means, a significant portion of the population stands ready to lambast her decisions.

By these standards, plastic surgery is the unholy grail of vain, “fake” attempts to look different than you’d be if you never changed a thing about your body. It’s almost as if a woman’s inherent nature is assumed to be tied directly to her looks…and changing those looks therefore also changes who she is as a person.

flower natural rose blooming beauty

America is both a hub for plastic surgery and a country that seems to take puritanical glee in degrading the women who have gotten it. The truth is, people have always sought to alter their looks, and doing so is as much a part of our nature as gossiping is. It doesn’t indicate who we are any more than our eye color does.

This lack of genuine justification is why so many of the judgments hurled at women who undergo plastic surgery are given extremely biased explanations. People cite religion, (allegedly) secular morality, and even “science” as valid reasons to disdain women who “go under the knife.”

The truth is far simpler than any of these excuses are willing to admit: for all the progress we’ve made as a society, we still like to judge women. Physical appearance just happens to be the easiest target for that judgement.

Changing this collective bad habit will take more than surface-level empowerment. It seems we’ve all got work to do when it comes to judging women who have gotten work done.

From There To Now–We’re In An Era of Equality, So Why Do Some Of Our Most Sexist Attitudes Persist?

Looking around at the world today, it’s mostly a landscape of increasing equality for men, women, and all genders in-between. Obviously the world is more like a patchwork quilt than a seamless whole, and women in different parts of the world enjoy varying degrees of freedom and opportunity.

On the whole, however, we’re doing pretty darn well. And yet…

No amount of success can hide the fact that looks still matter. A lot. And the standards that determine what looks good are a lot more limiting for women than they are for men.

Like our mothers, grandmothers, and great-great-great-grandmothers before us, women are stuck in a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don’t loop of changing beauty standards.

On the one hand, cosmetic procedures seem to be more popular than ever. Women and girls everywhere are lining up for lip fillers and everywhere-else fillers, augmentations, tummy-tucks, and more. And if you instinctively read all of that in a negative tone, you’re not the only one

There’s still an underlying perception of plastic surgery on the whole being a bad thing. Never mind that it’s safer than ever, with advances in medicine allowing for minimally invasive surgeries that can usually be performed as an inpatient procedure (no hospital necessary). And never mind that looking or feeling like you look “good” in the general sense comes with tangible, well-studied benefits in nearly every area of life.

Also ignored is the body of evidence that suggests general satisfaction amongst those women who choose to undergo cosmetic procedures––including increased self-esteem, self-worth, and general feelings of improvement. One can argue that changing your looks “shouldn’t” be a factor in achieving this kind of satisfaction, but that requires us to ignore millennia of social and evolutionary conditioning.

People who look good, and even those who simply feel they look good, are more likely to achieve financial and professional success. They tend to be wealthier, have more friends, and experience life with a more positive outlook. 

All that aside, why do we feel such a lack of empathy toward women who seek so-called “surgical enhancement?” 

Who doesn’t want to feel attractive? Who doesn’t want to look in the mirror and see a body that reflects their personal aesthetic or standards?

The best way to challenge the persistent judgments society holds about women who undergo plastic surgery is to ask questions that unravel what those judgments hide––moralistic attitudes that hold women back and place them in a position of constant dissatisfaction.

plastic chair sitting in front of vanity mirror

You aren’t judging a woman for attaining a larger bust, or for the perceived insecurities you’ve decided are behind her choice–––you’re judging her for daring to go and spend money on a procedure done that makes her feel more attractive

You aren’t judging a 20-something for getting lip fillers, and you aren’t justified by your assumption that she’s getting them because she’s “easily influenced” or shallow. What you’re doing is demonizing another person for seeing a feature she thinks is appealing, and then using modern means to replicate it. 

Basically, all of these judgments boil down to this one core attitude: why should she get to feel beautiful? Women should just sit down and accept things, because seeking to change them isn’t their place. 

If we fail to understand our judgments as pernicious sexism, and if we fail to grasp the implications of that sexism on the way women are allowed to live, look, and experience life, harmful judgments will persist. It’s time to stop equating plastic surgery with moral failures and accept it for the normal, human choice it truly is. 

Conversations like these are part of what equality truly means, and it’s one small step toward a better, happier future for all of us.

Oh, and don’t worry––the tabloids will find something else to gossip about.


This article was made possible by our partners at Dahiya FACIAL Plastic Surgery & LASER CENTER. They’re here to start conversations and change perspectives about women, beauty, and the society we live in. Thank you to Dr. Dahiya and his team!


The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this article belong solely to the author, and do not necessarily reflect the position of The Fem Word organization. Any content provided by the author are based on their opinions and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.